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Note- feedback on any of the

following articles is welcome, either

via email (feedback@alphadad.net)

or on the Alpha Dad Blog

(http://alphadad.wordpress.com).

 

 

Commentary/Issue

11/19/07

A Guest Submission by

Michael H, 44

Corporate Attorney

 

Agenda In the Classroom

 

In over twenty years since graduation, I’ve encountered countless times a (fairly reasonable) reaction to the major in which I earned my undergraduate degree- English. Allowing for some slight variations, the basic theme is this: “You majored in English?! Didn’t you already speak that language?”

Indeed I did—since just after infancy. But I also realized that I didn’t speak or write very effectively in this or any other language. Without turning this into a defense of an entire academic area, I will justify the study of English merely by pointing out that it allowed me to learn from masters performing at their very best through one of the few uniquely human attributes. Human beings can jump, but not so well as some squirrels. We are strong, but puny compared to many insects. We can and do kill, but not so nobly and discriminatingly as most jungle cats. But we can also reason, calculate and communicate, and these qualities set the human race apart. The study of English focuses on the best, most effective means of human communication. [It just so happens that the medium is the English language.]

With that premise in mind, I share the following: Not long ago, I asked my eighth-grade son what he had done at school that day, and he remarked that his English teacher had shown the class a particular website—that of “MoveOn.org.”

Trying to cloak my surprise—and generally wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt—I asked him whether she was trying to show the class how to effectively wri

te and thus deliver a theme or message. Or perhaps to show an example of some exceptional prose or writing; clearly and effectively presenting an opinion. “No,” he assured me, she just wanted them to know about the site. She also declared that the students should feel free to use or cite the website as authoritative source material in their class assignments.

Authoritative source material?

The mission statement of MoveOn.org is to: “[work] to make effective citizen participation by building electronic advocacy groups.” (MoveOn.org)

It describes itself as bringing “…real Americans back into the political process. With over 3.3 million members across America – from carpenters to stay-at-home moms to business leaders – we work together to realize the progressive promise of our country. MoveOn is a service – a way for busy but concerned citizens to find their political voice in a system dominated by big money and big media.” (MoveOn.org) With an obvious agenda, even MoveOn doesn’t hold itself out to be an authoritative source of information! In perspective, MoveOn.org is a political activist group with its own agenda.

This kind of activism/agenda is fine in its place, I suppose, but what does it have to do with the study of English? I honestly believe my dismay would be the same had my son’s teacher touted the use of the NRA’s website as an authoritative source on gun control issues. A set of facts will be portrayed very differently by the NRA as opposed to, say, the Brady Campaign. Both groups would certainly advocate (more or less effectively) for their respective positions, but neither should be cited as being “authoritative.” Thinking persons from both sides of the political fence could make compelling arguments as to the sources of ‘real’ or ‘valid’ information. If, however, a source is so clearly designed to present information based on an agenda, how could anyone reasonably defend the source as ‘authoritative?’ (Think again on the NRA vs. The Brady Campaign).

Yet, my son’s English teacher has decided that, regardless of its stated agenda, my son can draw on the opinions published by MoveOn as ‘authoritative.’ So much, then, for the teaching of effective and rational communications skills. I fear that the next (logical) result of this kind of proselytizing – under the cloak of the study of ‘English’ – will lead to students, my own son included, in being graded on ideology rather than competency of his work.

The media is awash with stories about public school teachers pushing their own political agendas on their captive and generally naïve audience (their students). Those most outraged by the practice typically have their own political axes to grind. But, leaving politics out of the equation, the English major (and father) in me has to wonder whether the study of English is always a primary concern, even among middle school English teachers.
 

- Mike H

NOV07
 

Reference-
Material, mission statement, and official website of MoveOn-
www.moveon.org
 

 

Commentary

11/08/07

Read Feedback to this Article: Go

 

The Alpha Male- Us and the Rest of the World

If you’re reading this, you likely consider yourself an Alpha Male.  Or if you’re a bit farther along in life, not only are you an Alpha Male, you’re now likely living the reality of the Alpha Dad.

Generally speaking, it can be said that as Alpha Males we know who we are, and what we’re doing. Giving it some thought, I was curious as to how the rest of the world looks at our archetype.  I say archetype because that’s what it is, not a stereotype.  We Alpha Males are in near-universal agreement on our common traits and ways of doing things: we’re absolute performers- set the bar high and reach it, every time, without cutting corners or using other people to get it done.  We demand the best from ourselves and those around us in work, play, and our relationships.  We’re loyal, honest, and typically sincere.  We will ‘do the right thing,’ in virtually every situation, even if it means falling on our sword or taking a hit for the team.  All of these are positive qualities, right? 

They’d better be, as we are notoriously difficult to change.  One of the most common characteristics that I’ve found in my own life, and reflected in virtually every one of my male friends (who are almost without exception Alpha Males) is that when we think it’s right, we stick with that, start to finish.  Not that we’re incapable of change in our thinking, in our way of doing things, in our way of behaving.  Quite the contrary, we run best on logic and performance.  If we see a better way of doing it, or have it pointed out to us (although this is quite a task), even if we’re pissed at first, we get on board and make the changes necessary. We’re aggressive, performers and achievers. But there’s a big difference between being an Alpha Male and just being an asshole.

So how does the rest of the world look at us? Alpha Males – winners, leaders, achievers – are we to be respected, admired, or followed?  Or seen as pushy Type-A’s – overbearing, unreasonable, and demanding?

If you look in the largest information source in the world - the internet, of course – you get a widely oscillating take on the entire Alpha Male thing:

In a rather dismaying presentation, AskMen.com (in their ‘Leadership’ section, no less) uses the tag line ‘Attraction Secrets Of The True "Alpha Male."  If that wasn’t bad enough, the opening line to the article reads: “Dear Speed Seduction Student” (AskMen). Who knew we’ve worked our whole lives doing the right thing, often at great risk to ourselves (either in business, our job choices, or personally), as a way to pick up chicks?

At TheModernMan.com, Dan Bacon forwards the idea that you can be taught to be an Alpha Male; again – in the pursuit of landing the woman that you want. Bacon writes: “If you aren't one at the moment, the good news is that you can learn how to become an alpha male.” [emphasis mine- Ed.]  (TheModernMan). The article goes on to list a number of definitions of the Alpha Male from the ‘Modern Man’ point of view  and even presents a convenient chart: Feminine Guy/Masculine Guy.

Go to the website that’s actually called Alpha-Man.com, and discover what every Alpha Male “needs”.  The website is an online store, offering ‘Gear for Gents.’  A sampling of the gifts they suggest for the Alpha Male (all pix Alpha-Man.com) [Piggy Bank; Riverstone Chocolates; Underwear; Wine Caddy]:

       

 I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.  I'm sure there are Alpha Males that drink wine, or eat chocolate, or even own a piggy bank or distinctive underwear.  But I can just see the look on the face of all the Alpha Males I know if they opened a gift to find any of those things inside.

Most of the material about Alpha Males seems to be of two basic types: learning how to be an Alpha Male to pick up chicks, or the Alpha Male in business.  Sadly, the vast majority of ‘information’ available is more on using your ‘Alpha Maleness’ – or learning how to be one – to get laid.

The converse discussion and defining of the Alpha Male – in a serious context, outside of using our ‘powers’ for picking up girls – is typically a discourse on the Alpha Male in business.  Even there the positive aspects of our archetype are defined with numerous caveats (the performer vs. the asshole).  Harvard Business School Press details the good and bad:

Whether heading a band of warriors, bringing a vital new product to market, guiding a team to glory or steering a giant conglomerate, alphas are hardwired for achievement and eager to tackle challenges that others find intimidating. Along the way, they inspire awe and admiration - and sometimes fear and trembling. Wherever they are and whatever they do, they stand out from the crowd, usually leaving an indelible impression on those whose lives they touch.

And also-

Alphas are aggressive, results-driven achievers who insist on top performance from themselves and others. Courageous and self-confident, they are turned on by bold, innovative ideas and ambitious goals, and they pursue their objectives with tenacity and an urgent sense of mission. Their intense competitive drive keeps them focused on the gold - silver or bronze simply won't do - and they're always keeping score. Often charismatic figures who command attention, they exert influence even when they're low-key and inconspicuous.” (HBSP)

Sounds pretty accurate, right?  However, the article also presents the negative and corrosive aspects of the Alpha Male, particularly in business.  In short, the vice is described as “…their greatest strengths have turned into tragic flaws.” (HSBP)  Again, the topic of the pursuit of women and the Alpha Male is presented – thankfully from a more analytical perspective – “If it's not money, it's sex.” [Emph. mine- Ed.] (HSBP)  Lastly, the same article drills it down to three basic features: “…hard-driving competitiveness, interpersonal impatience and difficulty controlling anger.” (HSBP)

Even CNN.com has a short article on Alpha Males in business.  Keep in mind that the article is written by a woman- “They're ambitious, self-confident, competitive and opinionated…Often brilliant, they can be difficult to work with and unpleasant to be around.” (CNN.com)  This article shows its female bias, in pointing out the rise in business of the female executive – which is not a negative in itself – but proposes the superiority of a more ‘female’ management style: “…the best combination of all in a leader is the alpha assertiveness and willpower combined with a softer, more consensus-building management style.” (CNN.com)

There is also a very ‘deep’ article from ‘The Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity,’ under the auspices of the American Psychological Association.  I won’t even go into it here, as it is… well, the article title is: ‘On Alpha Males and Roving Inseminators.’ (APA)  Good grief!

 I bring you this commentary to shed light on not only how we as Alpha Males view ourselves, but on what the rest of the world thinks of us as well.  I certainly wish we could directly confront all the purported ‘Alpha Male Trainers,’ attempting to “teach” men to be an Alpha Male, solely (sadly) as a means of picking up women.  For us, although we are driven by what we think is good and right, and this drive is merely the expression of our core beliefs and way of being, it’s important to keep in mind the sentiments of those around us.  The good with the bad, as they say.  Keep what works (and doesn’t cause friction), throw out the rest.  Perhaps when dealing with our peer group, or subordinates (even if we think that’s everyone), we should work hard to stay on the ‘good’ side of the line, and not fall in the ‘asshole’ category.

 -AP

6 NOV

 

References-

AskMen.com

http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/137b_dating_advice_a.html

TheModernMan.com

http://www.themodernman.com/how_to_become_an_alpha_male.html

Pictures and material from Alpha-Man.com

http://alpha-man.com/index.aspx

Excerpt from ‘The alpha male syndrome,’ Harvard Business School Press-

http://www.changeboard.com/hrcircles/blogs/hrarticles/archive/2007/06/29/the-alpha-male-syndrome.aspx

Excerpts from ‘Examining the alpha male at work,’ CNN.com

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/04/16/cb.alpha/index.html

Article title on APA

http://www.apa.org/divisions/div51/Newsletter/fall 05 newsletter/div51/01.htm

Again- feedback on the preceding article is welcome, either via email (feedback@alphadad.net) or on the Alpha Dad Blog (http://alphadad.wordpress.com ).

 

Short Word

11/11/07

A Glitch in the System

 

If you follow college football, you have seen the incredible oscillations in the overall Top 20 Rankings this season.  If you don't really keep track of the subject, know this: for the first time ever, a top-five-ranked team has lost to an unranked opponent repeatedly this year.  Nine times this season; a record.  At the opening of the season, 5th-ranked Michigan lost to the relative unknown Appalachian State; assured National Champion USC lost to Stanford a month ago; recently No. 2- ranked Boston College lost to faded contender Florida State; and this last weekend, the unstoppable powerhouse Ohio State lost to football unknown University of Illinois.

 

The reason I raise this point here is that it's pertinent to the Alpha Male, and our way of doing things.  What that statistic - the Top 5 teams losing to unranked teams - means is that almost ten times the pundits and prognosticators have been so wrong that the teams that had no chance rolled over their favorites. 

 

What does this really mean?- That scores of people - sports reporters, betting odds-pickers, coaches - all highly-paid professionals, completely and utterly failed in their profession.  The reason this is bothersome is that there is nothing worse than someone not just doing their job, but doing their job, but doing it horribly. 

 

We all know that sports have become just one more big business.  I don't live and die by college football; I have a couple teams I like, and I like to watch the games on Saturday.  But it is absolutely unfathomable to me that so many so-called 'professionals' can screw it up as badly as they have.  I (half-seriously) say that the only people worse in their predictions are weathermen.  I wish I could stink it up as badly in my job - at a fraction of the pay of all those aforementioned - and still get paid.

 

-TZ

10/20/07

 

 

 

Issue

10/25/07

CASA- Court Appointed Special Advocates

 

The Court Appointed Special Advocates initiative (CASA) is a non-profit program, staffed by volunteers in every state of the nation.  CASA is known by different organizational names in some communities – sometimes called Child Advocates or Voices for Children, as well as the particular name for local programs conducting the same type of work and support.  All of them share a common purpose – to support, speak for and volunteer time with the child - for children that have been abused or neglected and are being processed in the judicial system.  CASA ensures that an abused child at risk of getting “lost” in the system has a caring adult dedicated to learning what is in their best interest to help them reach a safe and permanent home as quickly as possible.

 

Overall, it is a volunteer-driven support and assistance program for children that has special advocates speak on behalf of children during the child’s proceedings in the court system (sometimes the juvenile justice system).  Each volunteer receives special training and is typically only given one case at a time. The time requirement is usually only about 10-15 hours per month.  The appointed Special Advocate is instrumental in providing the presiding judge in the case with information that is helpful in finding the right solution or placement for the child.  To better explain, here is a snapshot description from one of the program affiliates:

 

“A CASA volunteer assigned to a child ensures that correct and comprehensive information on what is best for the child is available to the judge when it is time to make important decisions. This information and the involvement of a CASA ensures the case is moving in the right direction for placement into a safe, permanent home quickly” (CASA BR)

 

This is an exceptional program in the support of children.  If you can volunteer time, it is a heartfelt opportunity to provide assistance for children most in need of it.  If you are not able to give your time, you can make donations to your local program, or the national organization (www.nationalcasa.org ).  Donations are tax-deductible to the National CASA, and in most cases should be when giving to your local program. 

 

We bring this to your attention at Alpha Dad as this is an area to which we often don’t think to give our abilities or time.  It is a great way to provide an additional bit of support, or even a small donation, for a great program serving children.  If you have time and effort to give, or would like to make a donation to any of the programs (national or local), this would be an exceptional gesture.  For finding your local CASA program, a quick web search or contact with local government should give you a good place to start.  You can also find an affiliate through the National CASA website (look for the ‘Act Locally’ search function on the national website).

 

- AP

1/24/07

 

References-

CASA Baton Rouge

www.casabr.org

National CASA organization

www.nationalcasa.org

 

Issue

10/20/07

Giving Them What They Want

The general public reacted rather vehemently to the revelation, and subsequent confession, to Michael Vick's involvement and subsidy of dog fighting.  Typical to the marketing maxim that any coverage/buzz is good for promotion, a producer has capitalized on the controversy, and is planning to broadcast live cockfights.

 

The fights will be held in Puerto Rico, where cock fighting is legal.  Jason Atkins, the producer of the web network ToughSportsLive.com, states that "Our ultimate goal is to be a cultural website, to produce and show the world's various cultural sporting events."   Right.  

 

I forward no position on showing this type of event.  However, I would think that on any given night there are too many other things to watch or do.

 

-TZ

10/20/07

News Item on the Subject- link

 

 

Short Word

10/18/07

Males Age Faster, Die Younger

It’s not our fault.  Researchers at the University of Cambridge have confirmed what most of us already knew: men age faster, and die younger.  No big surprise, is there? 

Even though girls get started out earlier on physical maturity than we do (remember grade school, when the girls started to be taller than most of us; a fact that didn’t change until we were almost in high school), apparently we catch up, to our detriment, and age quite faster.  In the end, this makes the males of our species (and many others) die younger than the females.

Included in this, although wrapped in language that was a bit overly scientific, is that the more polygynous a species is, the more likely males are to age faster and die sooner than the females.  Don’t feel bad- I had to look it up the definition of polygyny, too.  It means- the habit of having two or more mates, either simultaneously or successively.

In all this, I don’t know if that’s good news or bad news.  Bad, I suppose.  It’s not our fault that we’re polygynous as the males of our species.  But we pay for it by dying younger than women do.

-RB

10/18/07

 

Addendum: An interesting, although a bit difficult to read, article on the subject: link

 

 

Short Word

10/13/07

The Alpha Dad

 

How is an Alpha Dad - or more largely, the Alpha Male - different from other men?  The difference(s) are significant, and yet subtle at times. 

 

A simple example for your consideration: upon returning to work one day, a co-worker comes by and says to the Regular Guy- "The boss told me to tell you to come to his office as soon as you get in."  Regular guy goes  directly to the head man's office.  "You wanted to see me, boss?" 

 

Same scenario, but the Alpha Dad is the one getting the message.  He finishes up what he was doing, begins his trip to see the boss when he is done wrapping up priority items, and sets out in good time - soon enough to be in good courtesy, but not 'snapping-to.'  First thing he says when getting to the boss' office - "You wanted to talk?"

 

A subtle distinction, but a simple analogy for how we move through life as Alpha Dads.

 

-TZ

10/13/07

 

 

Short Word

09/30/07

JoePa

 

Joe Paterno: 80 years old; head coach of the Penn State University Nittany Lions football team for 42 years (yes, 42! as head coach; 58 on the PSU coaching staff); 22 bowl wins, two national championships.  But do you know why I like Joe Paterno, coach of the Penn State football team?  Six players on the PSU football team were arrested in an off-campus fight last April.  What did Paterno do?  He showed all the young, testosterone-filled players on the team that S was not tolerated in the Paterno program, nor at PSU.  The punishment/character-builder? After every home game, the squad, all 110 of them- the seniors, the superstars, and the kids who got arrested- have to clean the entire PSU football stadium.  And if they do a crappy job, they have to go back and do it again (as JoePa required after the FIU game in early September).  Oh- and the team had to work the Pennsylvania Special Olympics Summer Games, and help out with Habitat for Humanity.

 

Sure, mass punishment isn't 'fair;' most things in life aren't.  But if you're going to be a 'team,' particularly as scholarship athletes,  you should police each other, and set a good example. Joe Paterno could coach for 100 years (he just might) and I would still think his disciplinary actions of 2007 are the greatest piece of coaching ever.

 

-RB

09/30/07

 

Commentary

09/23/07

Ultimate Fighting

 

When we were kids, the only thing that really existed as 'sports' were the big three- football, baseball, basketball.  Now we have everything under the sun that has some level of popularity- hockey, soccer, arena football, professional track and field, stock car racing; you name it. 

 

The latest serious competitive sport that has made its way onto the media stage is Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).  There are numerous professional divisions worldwide- Pride, K-1, and the big dog on the block- Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC).  MMA has exploded in such popularity that virtually every large martial arts or training gym has an MMA program, in addition to its traditional curriculum.

 

Although there are many fine divisions and organizations, I wish to limit this commentary to UFC, as they are the largest and most lucrative (for fighters and in terms of revenue).  MMA has fought a long battle over the last couple years to gain acceptance in 'mainstream' media, sports reporting, and even in the viewing population at large.  Sports reporters that covered hand-to-hand combat have traditionally been boxing reporters.  With their expertise waning in popularity, and necessity (as boxing seemed to fade as the premiere combat sport), the writers covering boxing refused to take MMA seriously or give it the attention it warranted as a venue popular to the public.  Many public pundits, both fight commentators, medical professionals, and self-appointed guardians of the public good, decried MMA as too brutal, disorganized, inhumane, and not worthy of being considered a sport.  The major sports outlets, particularly the megalith of sports coverage, ESPN, refused to carry coverage of the sport, to include broadcast of fights, or reporting of events.  ESPN will cover bowling, spelling bees, and even curling, but to this day ESPN doesn't have a section on MMA.  You wouldn't know the sport existed if they're the only place you go for your sports news.

 

But the public will not be denied in its desire for sporting entertainment, and some forward-thinking types have capitalized on the popularity of MMA.  Foxsports has a section for MMA on its webpage, Spike TV carries UFC fights every Friday nights, as well as a popular show following MMA fighters on the comeback trail to gain a contract with UFC; even Showtime has its own MMA series of fights every week.  The UFC championship fights, that UFC first started out with a couple events a year, now has a 'championship' a couple times a month.  Fighters that are true contenders, or make their way through qualification rounds or beat title defenders can be rewarded with six-figure contracts, and can actually make a really good living practicing their sport. 

 

All this is pertinent to the Alpha Dad as I'm sure many of you already enjoy the sport, watch the events on TV, or maybe even train in MMA.  It's an exciting, seriously 'manly' endeavor, and appeals to our greater interests as men.  Yes, perhaps the sport will have its rise and decline, and then fade into obscurity, but it's here now, and incredibly popular.  It's a moneymaker for both the athletes and promotion leagues.  As much as we have major media trying to get us to swallow soccer (or football as it's known to the rest of the world) or women's professional basketball as what we should be watching, the Alpha Male finds a whole lot more interest in MMA, the UFC, and the many assorted leagues around the world.

 

This is important in the moment, and why I bring it for commentary here.  I really enjoy MMA, and I teach and practice Muay Thai for both recreation and self-defense.  With this as my interest, I try to share and enjoy the sport with my sons, eight and twelve.  I try to train my boys (as time allows) in Muay Thai, and this last week I finally got the chance for them to sit down with me on a Friday night to watch the UFC fights on Spike. 

 

The fight card was typical for the UFC weekly broadcast- no major title fights, but a score of serious fighters in a variety of weight classes.  And these are serious fighters.  Guys that practice the sport for hours on a daily basis, as a profession.  The novel aspect with MMA is that there is no real 'shame' with a loss, even a couple, as the competition is so good, and competitors so highly skilled that when the fighters reach the top level, a great fighter can lose any fight, any time.  A guy 12-4 can still be a championship contender or title holder.  So the fights that my sons and I were watching were serious competition, with guys that were all exceptional in their classes.

 

The boys and I caught the action midway into the first fight on the card.  Two seriously skilled middleweights- hard hitters that were leaving the ground game out of the fight, just duking it out with punches and kicks.  Shortly into the fight both fighters were seriously bloodied from sharp punches and hard elbows.  It was at this point that my little one asked me how they let the fighters keep on when they were so bloody.  I had to reply honestly- that in MMA they let them fight on considerably longer when the guys are bleeding than in other sports, most notably boxing.  The fight continued until one got the better of the other, with a bell-ringer on the side of the chin, and the fight was done by KO.

 

The sheer intensity and reality of the bouts were so acute, I had started to feel a bit uncomfortable with the kids watching.  Even though I had looked forward to it so much to have Dad and his sons enjoying this manly sport together.  And then I started to pay attention to the commercials during the breaks.  Oh, man, was this going poorly, and I started to realize that this was a bad idea.  Commercial after commercial, splashed across the screen, in as graphic depiction and content as they'll allow on TV.  'Knocked Up,' a movie about a one-night-stand between casual strangers that results in the gal getting pregnant.  "What does knocked up mean, Dad?"  (uhoh).  Luckily, the dialogue (in the movie, and in the commercial) referencing the impossibility of a woman getting pregnant depending on the position ("it's common knowledge guys, she can't pregnant if she's on top") just went over the boys' heads.  Promos for the coming newest installment in The Saw series (the fourth!), complete with frightening bloody images and viciousness.  On and on- seriously adult stuff in the ads alone. 

 

We all know that the beer companies are some of the biggest sponsors of professional sports, and even the content in their commercials has become so marginal that I wonder how they can put some of the stuff on TV in the middle of the day.  I guess we accept it, because... it's always been that way.  But the content at 8:30 on a Friday night; this was a new level of adultness and the 'heaviness' of the themes and topics.

 

But on the fight-night that I had hoped to enjoy with my boys- I finally had to turn it off and let the little guys play Pokémon on the Wii.  They were completely happy with this change, so I was off the hook.  But was I?  I was faced with some reflection as a Dad, and what I had hoped to be able to share with my kids. 

 

Look- there's adult fare all over the TV.  On the internet.  At the movie store.  That's fine.  I'm not going to tell anybody what's 'right or wrong' for adults to be able to watch.  That's up to the individual (and the government, I suppose), about what they watch, and what's available to them.  Like drinking alcohol (a legal product everywhere), it's an adult choice for adults.  But I had found that as a Dad, what I had wanted to watch and share with my sons was... just too grown up for them.  Both for the level of serious, hard-core violence of the fights (regardless the true competition and skill of the fighters), as well as the stream of overly adult marketing and content between the fights.  I just didn't feel comfortable doing it.  Had to turn it off and give the kids something a little more... a little more for kids.  That we could still enjoy together.

 

Nowhere in this do I criticize the existence of MMA, or the best league and competition around- the UFC.  I'll still be watching, and really enjoying, the fights on nights that I don't have the boys at my house.  It's adult stuff, a great sport and competition, and the skills are truly applicable to self-defense for men (and women) in an increasingly difficult and violent world.  Nope- it's adult stuff, and I'll do my best to keep it that way for my family.  For adults.

 

-AP

Editor

09/29/07

 

Commentary:

09/25/07

 

Football Dad

Tuesday: Pick up the little one (age 8) at 3:40, get to practice across town, junior player dressed out and ready to practice by 4:15.  Practice wraps up at 5:45; run back across town to watch the big boy (age 12) practice football from 5:15 to 7:15.  Latest schedule makes watching the second practice impossible (Dad teaching Muay Thai from 6:15 until 8:00).  If boys with Dad that night, run back across town to pick up the kids from Mom's house.  If kids with Mom for the night, go straight from teaching to Mom's house to see the boys for a minute and say goodnight.

Wednesday: If Dad's night with the boys- typical: homework, feed the man-cubs, take the boys out to throw and practice football (weather permitting) until dark; if raining, short hand-to-hand training inside; free play, bedtime.

Thursday: Repeat Tuesday.

Friday:  Take clothes for little one to play at field while big one has practice.  Pick up little one from school, go to field for the big one's practice.  Watch practice.  Wrap up day with something fun for the kids.

Saturday: Games for the little one.  Eight-year-old contests of strength and skill, quite lacking in the strength and skill part (owing to age).  Highly entertaining to watch, but terribly frustrating to watch 10-12 kids chase the ball in a big pack (think of Charlie Brown).  Great sense of pride when you hear your son's grunting and growls on every hit (he's the only one doing it).  Two-and-a-half hour commitment minimum.

Sunday: Games for the big one.  Twelve-year-old contests of strength and skill; strength a little better and skill considerably better than eight-year-olds.  Weight limits, gawkiness, and lack of coordination of typical twelve-year-olds reduces ability and impact level, but still entertaining to watch.  Great sense of pride when you can hear the 'crunch' of your son's hit on the runner all the way in the stands.  Two-and-a-half hour commitment minimum.

Monday? Hmmm- seems to be a 'free' day.  Probably throwing and practicing skills until dark, repeat Wednesday.

All this sound familiar?  Kudos and special appreciation to the Alpha Dad and the Alpha Mom, for the time, energy, and money spent giving your kids the best you can.  No matter what the sport or activity you give your kids. One of those things they won't appreciate until later. 

Thanks to all you coaches, supporting staff, and anyone who gives their time and energy for kids.  We're all better off for your efforts. 

And thanks to all of you for having your kids out there with mine, enjoying themselves, working hard, learning teamwork, savoring victory, dealing with defeat, and camaraderie to last a lifetime.

Counter-point:  Tucking the little one into bed the other night, I was doing my best to make him feel proud about his work at football, and my pride in his effort.  I remarked (a couple of times) that I had talked to a couple of my friends that day, and had bragged on how awesome he had done in his big game on Saturday, and how awesome his brother had performed in his game Sunday.  Made a big point of my pride in his effort.  Dad finishes his big speech, hoping to hear a reply with something significant about his points made, or at least in the same theme.  Big pause.  First words out of little one's mouth: "Dad, are there black widows in this house?"  (sigh...) I tried. (haha)

-AP

Editor

09/25/07

 

Commentary:

09/23/07

 

The New England Patriots-

Not the Kind of Patriot I Want to Be

If you're not really into sports, you might have missed the recent news that the NE Patriots were found ‘guilty’ by the NFL League Commissioner, Roger Goodell, of violation of league rules, concerning unfair advantage; essentially- espionage.

The essence of the infraction revolves around an assistant on to the Patriots staff videotaping Jets coaches on the opposing sidelines during a recent game this season, ostensibly to steal the signals being called to the unit on the field by the Jets coaches.  The obvious advantage for the Patriots to this essential ‘code breaking,’ is to adjust the lineup and play scheme for their unit on the field.  Basically- knowing what the play or defensive set was to be, beforehand, and making their play and scheme for what was coming.

The final penalty from the NFL was:

“Goodell [NFL league commissioner] fined Belichick [NE Patriots head coach] $500,000 and the team $250,000 last Thursday for violating a league rule that prohibits clubs from using a videocamera on the sidelines for any purpose, including recording signals relayed to opposing players on the field. New England also must forfeit a first-round draft pick next year if it makes the playoffs or a second- and third-rounder if it doesn't.”(ESPN)

Now with the essence of the infraction/penalty laid out, it bears consideration and scrutiny for what I think is a prime example of the decline of ethics and honesty in American popular culture. 

In the pursuit of winning, apparently at all cost, and using espionage methods available to them, the Patriots staff, specifically Head Coach Bill Belichick, decided that the ends justify the means.  In an industry, and yes, the NFL is quite an industry, to the tune of 7 billion dollars per year, winning has become the end-all/be-all of the sport.  Winning is an indicator of performance.  Performance is the yardstick by which the value, and subsequently the pay that all personnel - coaches and players - are paid.  To an exorbitant sum.  That half-million dollar fine levied against Belichick?  That’s about 1/8 of his annual salary.  Obviously, every win for coaches, every caught pass for receivers, every TD vs. INT for quarterbacks, etc, etc, etc, figures in their overall value, and the salary they receive.

The ends justify the means.  Breach of ethics is the standard and policy in the pursuit of winning (with the Patriots).  Honesty and fair competition are essentially irrelevant in the execution of ‘work’ in such a megalithic, profitable industry such as the NFL.  This obvious overarching operating mentality from the team that won the 2005, 2004, and 2002 Super Bowls.    

In this, to what extent does this policy of ‘win at all costs’ go?  The ‘using any method to win or gain advantage?’  Would putting out an on-field ‘hit’ on an opposing player (as in targeting the player to cause injury) be acceptable to the Patriots (or any other morally flexible sports team)?  How about putting laxative or some such agent in the opposing team’s water supply when you're the home team?  Too many examples to list, with a rather simple reply to the question: none of it.

I would never tell my sons to ‘do whatever it took to win,’ particularly acts not only against the rules, but acts that were not exemplary of good sportsmanship, fair play, and camaraderie.  No ‘you’re not guilty until you get caught’ in my ethical playbook.  No ‘splitting of the rule hairs,’ of prevaricating on issues where it is obviously either expressly against the rules (or in a larger sense- the law), or against the spirit of the rule or the game.  Just because there is no rule or law against it does not make it ‘okay.’ 

Thank you, Bill Belichick, and your New England Patriots, for another sad example of how American culture has declined, and all those superfluous issues like honesty, fair play, integrity, and ethics have waned; headed for their eventual trip down the drain.

To me, a patriot is a good fair, man; he does the right thing (in context of country), no matter the cost to himself.  This principal in a man’s life should extend to all things, his family, his work, his personal life.  In losing the way, essentially for money (as laid out above, with regard to performance), it makes for an even more despicable milestone in our descent into ignominy.  Not the kind of patriot I want to be.  Not me, not the people I consider my friends, and especially not my children.  I have to consistently battle the common mentality in raising my sons: “Sorry, boys- following the rules if for chumps.”

I hope that you find my objections to this entire issue similar to your own reactions.  Subsequently, I sincerely hope that we are able to resist the slide toward obscurity and the death of our culture; and not fall into this vacuous, integrity and ethics-free way of being.

-Ed.

9/22/07

Postscript-

1) Nowhere throughout replies to reporters through the conclusion (nor afterwards) of the penalty phase was Belichick conciliatory or apologetic.  Quite the contrary; he was reticent, and refused to reply on the issue, without a word of contrition or regret.

2) And lastly- that one-half million dollar fine, that Commissioner Goodell mandated must come from Belichick’s personal salary, not to be paid by management: turns out, it may be tax-deductible for Belichick

Reference:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=nfl&id=3024249

 

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